


Appearances - Draco Malloy x Pansexual Reader

by Bells83234



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:20:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29344995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bells83234/pseuds/Bells83234
Kudos: 2





	Appearances - Draco Malloy x Pansexual Reader

"Dracoooo," I whined for the millionth time as he continued to do anything but focus on our potions project.

"Snape owes me, we don't even need to do this bloody project," He replied nonchalantly as he continued to be fascinated by the fraying ends of his shoelaces attached to his feet that were propped up on the table yet again, even though I'd scolded him already.

"Owes you for what exactly this time? Blowing up his desk? Losing Slytherin another 20 points? Oh, wait, I know, not telling your Daddy that you're awful at everything cause you're too entitled to put effort into anything!" I rambled on sarcastically, hoping to get a rise out of him. 

I sighed in defeat and began packing up my things, "I'm not putting your name on this project, Draco." I stated before I walked out, not even looking back.

Merlin, who does he think he is? So his dad is in the ministry, that doesn't make him a fricking duke. He's such an ass to everyone and he acts like he's so confident. I used to think it was a show, now, I believe he's just a cold-hearted Jerk.

"Mai. Oi, Maisy!" I heard Claire calling from over my shoulder. I stopped and turned to face the giant.

"Oh, great, it's you," I teased, rolling my eyes with a smile already on my lips.

"How can so much sarcasm fit into such a tiny... you," She retaliated.

I elbowed her side as we began walking side by side, "How was your day?"

"Oh the usual, avoiding McGonagall, 'cause I skived another detention,"

"If you learnt not to talk back, you wouldn't have so many detentions," I offered, already knowing how this would end as I'd had this argument with her hundreds of times.

"No reason to avoid getting them if I don't go to them," She shrugged, I mean who could argue with that? "How'd things go with the prince of Slytherin?" She asked in a dramatic tone, earning us a few looks.

I'd completely forgotten about the project if I'm honest. I've never been the biggest fan of potions; there are just so many steps and I get bored, then it blows up...

"Fantastic! He invited me to his castle and let me dine like royalty whilst he did the whole project by himself, and then we flew back on a pegasus!"

"So... not good?" She giggled.

"Worse than not good, I'm pretty sure I've been added to his hit list,"

"What did you do?" Claire asked in her typical mum tone.

"I stood up to him, no one else ever does!" I sighed, already dreading making an enemy of the daddy's boy I share all my lessons with, "I'm screwed, right?"

"Yup," She nodded unsympathetically, before grabbing my hand and dragging me towards the great hall at a faster rate because apparently, I was going to make us miss pudding with my tiny legs' walking speed.

"We could just go to the kitchens!" I exclaimed, helplessly apologising to the people we bulldozed on the way.

***************

I opened the door to my Slytherin dorm, attempting to wipe some of the custard off my top; Claire got excited by quidditch, I got covered with apple pie. I walked past the four-poster-beds to the bathroom, scrubbing my uniform before I changed into my PJs.

"Cute top, is that a kitty cat I see?" I heard a voice say as I opened the door. A boy's voice.

My head snapped up and my eyes met none other than Draco Malfoy's. He was reclined on my bed, smirk too confident and hair too perfect and shirt lifted, revealing too much of his toned stomach.

"What are you doing in here?" I hissed, suddenly extremely self-conscious standing there in my pyjama shorts, without a bra.

"Just doing some reading for a new project," He shrugged casually, an evil glint in his eye.

"You're actually working, I'm so proud, get out!" I babied him, watching his smirk grow.

"Thank you, it's on a fascinating topic," He added in a similarly sarcastic tone, waving his arm generally, allowing my eyes to lock onto the particular object of his interest.

Oh God, Merlin no! Not Draco, anyone but Draco. This gives him far too much power over me, I can't afford that; in his hand, clutched tightly in his pale fist, was my journal. That book contained everything! Secrets I never even told Claire, personal information about my family, about relationships.

"What do you want?" I didn't bother playing, he'd clearly read it, he'd clearly planned to use it against me, and that is not happening.

"I don't want anything," He replied, acting as the definition of innocence.

I placed my hand on my hip, the rage building inside me taking control, "Then why are you still here?"

"Now, now, that doesn't seem like the right way to talk to someone who could introduce you to Dougal McBride,"

I gasped, I'd completely forgotten that that book contains several of the crushes I've had, and there were a lot of them, believe me. Dougal McBride was a seeker for Pride of Portree, I used to think he was cute when my sister dragged me to the games growing up. There were also random boys in my year or just round Hogwarts along with the far less accepted - especially in Slytherin - random girls in my year or just around Hogwarts - I came out to Claire in 4th year, she was so understanding, but she's the only one who knows, now everyone will. Along with book characters, actors, past teachers - oh Merlin! I really am screwed.

I put on a calm face, ignoring the smirk on his face, "Glad to see you're a fan of my writing, how about I send you any future works?" I choked out with, what I hoped was my usual sarcastic tone, whilst gesturing to the door.

"I think this one is pretty unbeatable, so where are we standing on Dougie? Or maybe you'd rather Arthur Scott in 7th year?"

"You wouldn't!"

"What you going to do? Not add my name to our project?" He teased.

"My project," I spat out, "I'm only asking once more, Draco, what do you want?"

"Well, it seems I have time to decide doesn't it," He explained, sitting up on my bed, his eyes filled with pure malice, "I know I won't forget this for a while, it could take even longer if I'm reminded,"

"Are you threatening me?"

"I thought I was making that clear," He chuckled - the jerk actually has the guts to chuckle right now?!

"Well, let me explain why your threat isn't going to work with me," I almost whispered, walking towards him, perching on the opposite bed, "I don't give a damn what your daddykins thinks, I don't give a damn what the whole school thinks, and I sure as hell don't give a damn about what you think, Malfoy, so bugger off!"

His facade broke for a second, his confident smirk diminishing just slightly before he laughed yet again, "Did little Maisy Stewart just try to be big and scary? How sweet," He stood slowly, placing my book on my bedside as if it had never moved, "You're going to regret ever speaking to me like that!" 

And with that, he stormed out. I was scared, but I've survived a lot, why not this? I stayed on Claire's bed until she came and found me, staring into empty space, mind racing. I told her everything, of course, and after playfully scolding me for not telling her we had a joint crush on Douglas McBride, she managed to make me laugh about it. That is what best friends are for. 

*************

I made my way downstairs the next morning, Claire by my side as always, both of us running late as always, but the common room wasn't empty as always. Instead, the whole house was crowded around a chalkboard titled, 'Has Maisy Stewart Fallen For You Too?'.

"I'm going to kill him." I breathed out, pushing through the crowd, ignoring the taunting words from the meanest house in the school - and boy could they live up to their name.

He had them numbered in order, twenty-six in total. Intricate, swirling designs in chalk making it look like a sign outside a fancy french cafe.

I actually ended up chuckling at past me as I read through the list, 'Number 8: Captain Hook' - beards are just a no; 'Number 14: Kylie Donaldson' - the shy yet popular girl in my year who was so not my type anymore, but still, I guess the cats out the bag or I'm out the closet?

My slight panicking was cut short by a hand on my shoulder, snapping me awake, "Maisy?".

I span around, my jaw dropping when I saw the extremely unexpected, Arthur Scott, "Oh, hey..." I blushed, this conversation will not be fun. I looked around for Claire and found her over-enthusiastically mouthing good luck, holding two thumbs up. She thinks everything is a bloody rom-com. I looked back, trying to focus and act human. I noticed a scar on his brow and lip and my own eyebrows furrowed as I wondered what happened.

"So... I'm number 16?" He stated awkwardly, interrupting my examination of his face and suddenly finding his shoes fascinating.

"I'm so sorry, Arthur, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, Draco did this as a prank-"

His head snapped up, as he questioned, "So, it's not true?"

"I wish I could say that, but sadly it is, I'm sorry if you're upset or embarrassed, that idiot only meant to embarrass me, so we can just move on..." I rambled, hoping to walk away from this conversation.

"Maisy, wait!"

So close, "Yep, uh-huh, hi," I nodded, turning back and sighing sightly.

"Would you maybe want to go to Hogsmede with me this Saturday?"He asked, a small smile on his mouth.

OH MY MERLIN!

"I would like that very much," I replied, returning his smile, "As long as you promise not to get jealous over Captain Hook, it was a long time ago, I'd just watched Peter Pan for the first time and I was going through a bad boy phase," I added, glad to have gained my natural sarcasm back as we walked to class together.

I winced as I heard a few people shouting homophobic slurs at me, looking around I felt like people were either glaring at me or purposefully avoiding looking anywhere near me. I'm still the same Maisy! Literally nothing has changed except for your knowledge of my sexuality. I felt hurt, honestly, and like I wanted to be invisible.

Arthur either didn't notice or decided to ignore it as he continued our conversation and I smiled gratefully, "I may be pureblood, but I have seen Peter Pan, no need to worry here, although I am judging your taste, just a little," He chuckled, making me laugh too.

"Well, this is me, potions first thing, fun I know," I rambled, still extremely nervous.

"Well then, I will see you Saturday at 10?" He asked suddenly, making me look straight at him, the feeling of a warm blush spreading up my neck.

I simply nodded in response, disorientating myself slightly, resulting in me being utterly terrified when I noticed he'd started leaning in. I froze and he chuckled when he noticed my expression, quickly kissing my cheek as I turned bright red.

I mumbled a goodbye and sped to my desk, collapsing in a mixture of relief, confusion and excitement. Take that, Draco, you just got me a date.

I was greeted by a group of hyperactive, hormone fuelled teenage girls asking a hundred questions per minute about Arthur. The remaining girls in the class were avoiding me whenever I looked at them as if I was going to force my tongue down their throat on the spot. Get over yourselves, I have standards! I looked around helplessly, answering questions where I could, and avoiding some that I knew would scar me for years to come. I never thought I'd feel so grateful to lay my eyes on Snape's greasy head.

A solemn silence fell over the room, an icy breeze followed and he opened his mouth to speak the dreaded words, "Sit with your project partner and open to page 394, your next project,"

I swallowed and reluctantly made my way over to Draco. I wasn't prepared for the anger I felt from just merely looking at him, he forced me to come out, to the whole school, that's supposed to be my choice, the one thing I get to control.

I decided to ignore him, and scream at him when we weren't in the middle of class, and sat slowly, bracing myself for his usual attack; I blinked a couple of times, before turning to face him, finding him patiently looking toward the front of the classroom, "Are you broken?" I asked harshly, not wanting to feel the worry I did bubbling in my stomach at his out of character behaviour.

"What are you blabbering on about now?"

"Where's the teasing? Where're the threats?"

"I didn't know you'd fallen for my charms, sorry to let you down, Stewart," He murmured sarcastically, finally looking at me. I could see the colour drained from his already pale complexion, the bags under his eyes more visible due to the bruising on his neck.

"Draco, what happened?" I exclaimed, my hand reaching out slightly, forgetting my anger for a moment.

He shifted away from me, putting up his guard again, zoning me out, meanwhile, my mind has gone into overdrive worrying about the numbskull next to me. I've heard the rumours, I know about his dad and he-who-must-not-be-named. But Draco is just a boy, as impressionable as any of us, but also as innocent as any of us.

*****************

As my final dull as mud lesson finished for the week, I was all too happy to walk out the door and forget about it till Monday, so was everyone else, but not everyone else had a kinda-sorta-date with Arthur Scott!

Claire and I woke at dawn, well early, well 8:30, which believe me is early for us.

Claire is incredible at doing hair, she braided mine into 3 dutch plaits, leaving the rest of my hair down. I wore a comfy outfit, a t-shirt, trousers and denim jacket, it may be a date, but we still have to walk all the way to the carriages, I'm going to be as comfy as possible.

Claire smiled widely at her finished masterpiece, "You're going to have the best time!" She squealed, pulling me into a tight hug, "I've got detention all day, turns out you can only avoid McGonagall for so long," I chuckled as she shrugged.

"I guess ur past finally caught up to you," I teased.

"It's okay, I'll live, go and have fun without me!" She moaned in a ridiculous, over-dramatic voice.

"You're such a weirdo, I'll see you later,"

"Bye Mai, USE PROTECTION!" She called after me, causing me to both laugh and cringe.

When I made it down to the common room, the strap of my rucksack clutched tightly in my hand, I met Arthur's eyes across the room and smiled before I started making my way over. 

"Don't do this, Maisy!" I was interrupted by none other than Draco.

"Your plan backfired and I got a date, get over it," I sighed, attempting to walk around him.

He stepped in front of me, continuing to block my path, "He doesn't like you, Maisy, he's using you,"

"Is it really that impossible to believe someone could like me? Why do you have to be so cruel all the time?"

"I'm trying to do the right thing right now, but you're not listening!"

"No, you're not listening, I already told you, I don't give a damn what you think, I am going to Hogsmeade and I'm going to have a good time 'cause I won't be there with you!"

And with that, I shoved past him towards Arthur.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, gesturing towards where Draco was still stood, arms crossed, scowling, looking less like a demon and more like a toddler having a tantrum.

"Yeah, just Draco being an arse, nothing unusual,"

"Did he say anything?" He asked anxiously.

"Don't worry about it," I reassured, "You ready to go?"

"Uhh, yeah," He nodded, offering me his hand as he led me out of the common room, casting a steely glare at Draco as we left.

**********************

We made it to Honeydukes, where Arthur kindly bought me some fudge flies before he dragged me around looking at quidditch supplies. I didn't mind though, my sister made me do this all the time, so at least I actually knew what I was talking about when he asked for my opinions, the fudge flies definitely helped though.

We walked out the shop with his brand new keeper gloves, but when I turned to go to the 3 broomsticks, he pulled me the other way, "I thought you wanted to get butterbeer?" I questioned, trying to pull my wrist from his grip.

"Later," Was all he said as he kept walking away from both Hogsmede and the castle.

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere private," It could have been romantic, but the tone in his voice sent shivers down my spine.

"Arthur, you're hurting me." He didn't loosen his grip, he didn't even acknowledge me, he just continued another few feet, before he stopped, leaning in towards me.

"I don't think we're allowed to be here, come on, let's go back," I pleaded.

"I bought you sweets and you aren't going to return the favour," He asked, a malicious look consuming his face.

"I said thank you, you said they were a gift, what do you want from me?" I asked, trying to push him away from me.

"I suggest you stop!" Someone yelled from behind me somewhere and I never thought I'd feel so happy to hear Draco's voice.

Arthur's grip loosened just slightly and I seized my chance to slip away, I made eye contact with Draco as I passed him, I was expecting 'I told you so' not pitying. Pity is a rare thing for Draco Malfoy.

After that, I didn't look back, I ran to the castle, only stopping when I reached the common room, I curled up on a sofa, a few tears falling from my eyes. The past week has been crazy! I finally stopped enough to process it and it was terrifying. I was alone in the common room, everyone else either at lunch or Hogsmeade. Not only does half the school hate me for being pansexual; I was assaulted by my 3rd-year crush. And who was at the centre of it all? Draco. Of course he was, wherever he goes, evil follows.

"Maisy?" I heard Draco's voice call, as the common room door fell open.

Oh god, it's like blooming beetle juice! "What do you want?"

"I came to see if you're okay." He stated simply.

"Since when do you care?"

"Since it was my fault," His voice hadn't changed tone.

I looked up at him, "It wasn't your fault, it was his." I couldn't bring myself to say his name, even thinking it brought a new wave of tears

Suddenly, Draco was sat next to me, a hand awkwardly but comfortingly placed on my shoulder, "I was so scared" I admitted, I didn't even realise I had spoken, let alone to Draco. I felt so vulnerable and he was there, and I didn't mind.

"I knew he was going to do that," Draco breathed out, making me look straight at him, questioningly, "Before you came down the morning that I put the board up, I overheard him and his friends talking, they saw his name on the board and they dared him to get you to... um, sleep with him." He swallowed, looking away from me guiltily, "I tried to stop him, I even got a few good shots in before his friends beat me up worse."

I felt my jaw drop after he told me, I blinked hard, keeping the tears in, of course he didn't like me for real, who would?

Draco continued, noticing my tears and choosing to ignore them, "It was my fault he asked you out in the first place, I heard him and his mates talking, Maisy, he was gonna try stuff with you, I didn't want to be responsible is all." He ended with a shrug, removing his hand and turning away.

"Who would've thought Draco Malfoy has a conscience?" I chuckled, ignoring the tears escaping my eyes, stopping when he turned to glare at me which softened upon looking at my face

"I'm sorry, really, Draco, thank you,"

He shrugged simply, "Let's start this project then," he stated, handing me a tissue without even looking.

"You're actually going to help?" I asked, so surprised that I forgot I was crying.

"It didn't end too well last time I let you do it, an A? Come on, Stewart, Es and higher, I have a reputation to keep up," He explained smugly.

"An A is a pass, and potions is hard, plus I think your little reputation is doing just fine. Everyone knows you're a teacher's pet with an attitude problem," I laughed

Draco's mouth twitched into a smile as he shockingly joined in my laughing.

*************

The next week followed, exactly the same as every other week: school, food, sleep, homework. The endless cycle of adolescence as I like to call it.

There was, however, a minor alteration this week, Draco. He was just there, being oddly pleasant and surprisingly civil, I took it as him showing his guilt, but it was nice getting to know the nicer side of him. We didn't argue in every lesson, he hung out in the common room with Claire and me, and it was... nice.

Finally, we made it to Saturday, 'Hogsmeade day', the reminder felt like getting punched in the gut, I'd had many sleepless nights in the past week, memories of Arthur dragging me off, and the scarier ones of what could've have happened if Draco wasn't there.

Currently, I found myself, crying - yet again - in front of Draco - yet again - over Arthur - yet again.

"Am I so unlovable?" I blubbered for the tenth time.

"No, you're not, some people are just jerks," Draco answered without looking up from his book, in a monotone voice, like the automatic response voice on an answering machine.

"Like you?" I asked bitterly.

"Oh yeah, I'm the biggest jerk!" He smiled, actually looking up and making me chuckle.

How does he manage to do that?

*************

"I got one for you to add," I told Draco the second he entered the common room, nodding my head in the direction of the board, still in pride of place in the middle of the Slytherin common room.

"Oh yeah? Who?" He asked, heading towards us, dumping his bag on Crabbe.

"Patch!" Claire and I squealed.

He covered his ears, walking back slightly, "Never make that noise again! And who the hell is Patch?"

"He's a fallen angel," I sighed dreamily.

"Another bloody book character?" He chuckled, "Yeah, sure I'll add him,"

I grinned up at him with a wink, making him shake his head, sitting down mumbling something about crazy fangirls, "What can I say? Fictional worlds are just more exciting,"

I settled back down, placing my legs on Draco's lap, he gave me a questioning look, before picking up the book and reading it.

****************

"So.... are you in love with patch yet?" I asked Draco when I spotted him reading Hush Hush in the library.

"I don't know, he's kind of sarcastic," He replied, smiling as Claire and I joined him at the table.

"If you're saying there's something wrong with sarcasm, you and I are both screwed," I teased.

"Don't you think he's dreamy and gorgeous?" Claire piped in.

"Believe me, girls, no guy wants to be described like that,"

"Lucky for you, you never will be," I giggled, "I see you added him, had to extend the board yet?"

"No, who do you want to add?" He asked in a bored voice.

"There was this guy I saw walking around Hogsmead-"

"You went to Hogsmeade?" Malfoy practically shouted, causing Pince to glare at us.

"Just with Claire, chill out, no creepy guys for you to beat up just yet," I replied in a hushed tone.

I would've thought he'd relax, but his shoulders stayed tort, as he defended himself, "I wouldn't have cared if it was a creepy guy, you can save yourself this time, it's not my fault anymore," Then he excused himself and walked out.

"What was that about?" Zabini asked - we'd grown close since I... befriended Draco? Friends? Is that what this is?

"I don't know, just stormed off like the drama queen he is," I shrugged, collapsing back and rocking slightly on my chair before I caught my balance.

"Probably just wanted to be with patch in private," Claire chimed in, making me giggle as Zabini called us mad and followed in the direction Draco had left in.

I watched, feeling guilty, but what had I done?

****************

The next day, Draco acted completely normal, I put 'the library incident' down to the monthly male hormone cycle making him even more melodramatic than usual. But our misfit group was back to normal: Draco and I, Claire, Blaise and Crabbe. I don't know how or when this happened, but it felt nice, like I belonged somewhere.

Over the following weeks, the list steadily grew about one name per week, depending on how romantic I was feeling from reading. The week I read love Simon, there were more than a couple of additions.

As my teasing had predicted, Draco had had to expand the board, every time I look at it I can't help but smile.

There's actually been a much better acceptance of me being pan than expected. Draco and I still haven't discussed it though, I feel too awkward to ask him to add a girl onto the board, we've gotten so close, I don't want to remind him and for him to hate me again. Although this part of me isn't going away, if we're going to be friends he needs to accept it.

I seized my opportunity the next day, we were lazing around by the lake, Crabbe throwing rocks into the lake 'trying to catch a fish', his stupidity scares me honestly.

The rest of us were on the grass doing work, well, I was trying to...

"She's cute," I stated simply, nodding to a 6th year passing, I felt Draco stiffen and watched him and Blaise exchange a look as if they were communicating telepathically.

I guess he's not okay with it, I turned around, hurt that my new found friends weren't accepting of this pretty major part of me, Claire put her hand on mine and smiled reassuringly. At least I know I'll always have Claire.

Zabini cleared his throat, "You can always add them on yourself, Stewart, do you not know how to write or are you just lazy?" He teased, but there was an intended cruelty to his voice, one look in his eyes had me terrified.

I made my excuses and packed up my belongings, Claire following me as I scuttled away. 

After assuring her I was fine and I just needed to think, she left and there was just me, wandering the halls, wondering what was wrong with me. Am I broken for liking girls as well? Pansexual just means that I like people for their personalities and gender isn't an obstacle. Is there so much wrong with that?

By the time I made it back to the common room, the halls were all silent as the majority of the students were eating in the great hall, I had a stash of Bertie Botts in my trunk, I'd make it 'til morning. I walked past the board of my crushes, now accepted as a typical piece of furniture by the rest of Slytherin. I chuckled to myself at some of Draco's descriptions of random people I'd found cute, who we didn't know the names of, I found some chalk, ready to add the girl from earlier, only to find it already printed, 'cute girl from fishing' in his perfect cursive.

Maybe in time, he'll be okay with it.

A small smile fell onto my face when I realised how much effort he put into this when this all started because he couldn't be bothered to do a pretty simple potions project.

I don't know why he makes me feel like this. He's not anyone's type let alone mine. Sure his pale blonde hair is cute when it curls because he didn't have time to dry it and his clear grey eyes can be captivating when he's talking about something he's passionate about, but he's not exactly attractive. He's not even nice most of the time, sometimes he's friendly and he makes me laugh and I let myself think 'someday', but then he says something horrible or supremacist or homophobic. What's scary is I can't help feeling like maybe I want more. I want to find someone in the real world that's worth fangirling over.

After that day I didn't mention it again, not out of fear, just because it's not important, Draco doesn't say how straight he is all the time. It shouldn't matter honestly, yet it does, but for now, I think I'm okay with where we're at.

Draco and I were sat in the library when a seventh year named Michael Higgins came over and asked to borrow a quill, after the limited interaction, I was left a blushing mess and quilless. 

"What are you going to write with now?" 

"Well, I hadn't thought that far, had I?"

Draco sighs handing me his quill as he begins to scavenge through his bag.

"He was pretty cut-" I began.

"Don't say it," he snapped, stealing his quill back.

"Hey! What did I do?"

"Are you serious right now? That was barely even half a conversation and you're there lusting over him like he's Captain Hook," He tried to sound teasing, but I could tell he was genuinely upset.

"Fine, I'll add him," I stated, stealing his quill again.

"With your handwriting? You'll mess it up!" He argued.

"So, you'll add him?"

"No." Clearly getting more frustrated.

"Why?" I pushed.

"You want to know why Maisy? It's because every time you ask me to add another name, it tears my heart apart because it means you've fallen for another person who isn't me!... And I want it to be me," He trailed off at the end, his voice softening as he looked at me.

I felt my eyes go wide, Draco Malfoy likes me? No, that can't be right, "Draco, what do you mean?"

He was stood up at this point, waving his arms around in anger, "Merlin, Maisy! How dense are you? I want to be the person that makes you blush bright pink, I want to be a name on that board, and I want to take you to Hogsmeade and treat you right!" He ranted, getting progressively louder.

I looked in his eyes, he looked open, vulnerable, desperate. But he was him, he was Draco, 'dreamy and gorgeous'. Someone who finally matches me in sarcasm levels, someone who is smart and creative. But so many fears filled my mind, what if this is another prank? What if his pureblood supremacist parents hate me and kick me out, or worse kick him out? What if he expects me to be straight just because in dating him? I'll always be pan and I know he's not 100% accepting of that.

I placed my hand on his, watching his eyes soften before he realised this was my 'no'. He wasn't angry, but I could see the sadness and questioning in his eyes.

Before he could speak, I grabbed my bag and hightailed it to the dorm.

Claire was sat reading on her bed but she hopped up to hug me the moment she saw the tears I'd apparently spilt whilst running here.

Once I calmed down, she asked what happened, she didn't force me, that question hung in the air for what felt like an eternity before I turned to her and sighed, resting my head on her shoulder.

"He asked me out" I whispered, struggling to get the words out now I had to say it out loud.

"And you said..." Her question was answered when I subtly shook my head, "No?!" She shrieked, causing my head to snap up. "After all that, you said 'no'?".

"I'm just not in the right mental place right now and my instability is not something he should have to deal with," She looked like she wanted to interrupt me but I continued, finally spilling every fear and insecurity I've had this entire time," Also he's born and raised homophobic, I'm pan - that's not something that's just going to go away. Maybe if I was happier with myself or more confident or if there weren't so many reasons not to do it," I finished with a sigh, feeling my hope rising once again like a helium balloon in my chest.

She looked at me in disbelief, "Why are you only thinking about him?"

"Well, wha-" I started to defend myself.

"What about you? What do you want?"

"It's all complicated, we need different things right now,"

"What do you want?"

I paused.

I knew.

I knew exactly what I wanted, but was I ready?

"Him." I finally breathed, terrified I was finally admitting it out loud, "I-I like him. Oh god, I like him, what do I do?"

"Finally!"

"I-I... I want to be with him,"

"So do it," she stated simply, a smirk etched onto her face.

"But I'm not comfortable enough with my mind or body to share it and-"

"Stop. He asked you out cause he likes you how you are, not how you could be,"

"But I'm pansexual,"

"He wouldn't have asked you if he wasn't okay with it." How did she make this seem so easy? Is it really this simple?

"Are you sure?" I mumbled as a last attempt to have her support me chickening out.

"Of course I'm sure, now go and say yes!" She smiled mischievously behind her book as her eyes shifted to behind me.

Already predicting what came next and glaring at her in anticipation, I turned around. 

There he was, he must have followed me up.

Neither of us said anything but I felt the bed shift behind me, indicating Claire had left.

"You... um, you-er heard that?"

"Yeah, yeah I did."

I looked away sheepishly. He now knows all my biggest insecurities, all my biggest fears, and worst of all: how I feel about him.

There was another deathly silence followed by a sigh, when I looked up I saw unexpected anger. Before I could ask what was wrong or panic in case I'd got completely the wrong idea, he interrupted me.

"You really think I'm that shallow?"

"Well, yes," I admitted, in an attempt to make him laugh, but when he continued to scowl, I switched, "Well, no, I jus-"

"Do you not realise how incredible you are? Do you not realise how beautiful you are and how literally every person you meet falls in love with you? You're magnetic and kind and dangerously selfless." He took a step closer towards me, wiping a lone tear from my cheek and smiling his stupid special smile down at me with his perfect eyes softening. All of him is perfect, and he's chosen me. "You are so brave and I think you look amazing and gorgeous every single second. I know I've been a jerk in the past but you've enlightened me; you can like whoever the hell you want as long as, at least for now, I'm the one that gets to be loved by you; because whoever is loved by you, is the luckiest damn person on this planet... Plus it is kind of hot that you've made out with girls,"

I pulled away from the embrace we'd somehow ended up in during his monologue, and playfully swatted his arm, but I couldn't stay mad for long. Every word that came out of his mouth was damn perfection.

"You're ridiculous," I whispered, smiling through my tears and for once it didn't feel complicated or difficult.

It was simple.

"Ask me." I managed to say with the little confidence I could muster.

He stopped fiddling with my hair to peer over at me questioningly, "What?"

"Ask me," I repeated, moving closer to him and looking up into his eyes and watching as they lit up in recognition.

He chuckled, "You better say yes," He jokingly warned, but I could tell he was nervous underneath; god he's adorable, how did I get so lucky?

"Just ask me!"

"Okay, okay," He took a deep breath, being very overdramatic and making me giggle, "Will you be my girlfriend?"

I smiled sweetly, leaning in, our lips brushing before I abruptly pulled away, faking a thoughtful expression "Hmm, I don't know..."

"For Christ's sake!" He exclaimed, getting ready to storm off into one of his famous temper tantrums.

I grabbed his arm gently, pulling him back to me, to where he's supposed to be and most importantly, to where I want him to be, "Yes, of course, I will."

**************

A couple of weeks later, we were lying by the lake again, just us two.

"Hey, can you add another person to the list?" I asked, using my hand to shelter my eyes from the sun as I sat up from where my head had been rested in his lap.

"Oh God, not again, are they actually real this time so I can beat them up and show them that you're mine?"

"You can beat them up but I'd rather you didn't, I kind of really like them,"

"Fine, who is it?" He whined.

"You." I smiled teasingly, gently kissing the tip of his nose, before standing up.

There was a pause and I looked down to find him hiding his face in his hands, "I hate you," He said chuckling and turning his face to look at me turning a light shade of pink from embarrassment.

"You love me," I smiled, peeling his hands away from, his face and placing them around me so I could snuggle closer.

"Yeah, I do," He said with a counterfeit smile before looking thoughtful, "But we knew this already, the real question is, Maisy Stewart, do you love me?"

I pretended to scrunch my nose up in disgust as he rolled his eyes, my expression changed and I smirked, turning to face him, "I guess somewhere down the line, you became worth fangirling over,"

"Maissss!" he whined as his fingers moved to my sides and began tickling.

"Fine, yes, I love you too," I gave in, giggling and rolling around, playfully trying to escape him.

(6561 words)


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